“And then? And then?” by Nan

Eons ago, in the dark ages of my past, a popular comedy routine had the line, “And then? And then?” It was funny, the way they did it, but now as I edit it’s not so funny when an author uses “then” repeatedly.

So many other possibilities exist for expressing the same time framing, if it needs to be expressed at all. (Sometimes it doesn’t, really, you know.

For instance:

*He jumped into the saddle and then rode off.

Leave out “then” and what difference does it make?

Exactly.

None.

Other fixes for your “then” fixation could be using words like “before,” “after,” or “following,” if you feel the need to line up action in a time-sequence order:

*She patted his hand before leaving the table.

*He went to the door after he gave the book to the boy.

*After he gave the book to the boy, he went to the door.

*Following their picnic, they bathed in the stream.

Experiment with various ways of writing your sentences to avoid using the same sentence patterns and the same word choices over and over again. Thank you!

~Nan

*No examples are from manuscripts I’ve seen.

Employ the five senses to provide new and unique images.

Employ the five senses to provide new and unique images. The sense of sight is overused, it’s easy to tell what the character is seeing, not so easy to tell what something feels, sounds or tastes like.

Try things like: The air tasted like pennies, tart and coppery. The monkey’s fur touched her cheek, bringing memories of Grandfather’s workshop, and the wads of used sandpaper on the floor. The air bit into her sinuses just like the Vicks Vapo Rub Mother used to glob on her chest.

How about this: Go outdoors. Stand barefoot in the grass, or on your fire escape. Close your eyes and let your senses take over. What do you hear: the rustle of daisies in the breeze? A couple arguing down on the sidewalk? What do you smell: your neighbor’s woodstove? Gasoline fumes? Breathe through your mouth. What does the air taste like: mildewy leaves? Tangy like acid rain? Is the grass damp with dew? Does the fire escape remind you of a bridge from which you’re about to fall?

Go indoors now—wait, open your eyes first.

Now, close them again and do the same as a moment ago. What do you smell: the baby’s dirty diaper in the trashcan? Do you hear the kids’ footsteps upstairs? Can you tell which kid is which by the way they run? Did you get goosebumps realizing you’d forgotten a pot on the stove?

Challenge your creativity. Everyone knows how a bakery smells, but what does it sound like?

Everyone has an idea of what war sounds like, but what does the air taste like?

Take everyday things like the rumble of your neighbor’s car on a cold morning. What visual image does it conjure from your childhood: the time you went shopping with your mother and threw up on her best coat?

Your favorite bathrobe is soft on your face, but what flavorful memory does it evoke—when you and your husband went to that B&B for your fifth anniversary and had apple pancakes for breakfast?

These are the sorts of images you should present to your readers; things they can sink their senses into; things that stimulate their memories and images. 

Cindy Davis

www.fiction-doctor.com

just released On the Hook

first in the Smith & Westen series

Tech Talk: Chapter Breaks

Tech Talk: Chapter Breaks

Want your editor to love you? Or at the very least, make your manuscript look a bit more professional?

Learning to do chapter breaks can be fun. Okay...that might be the geek in me coming out. But really, it’s not that difficult, and if you make it a habit as you are writing your next story it’s not even time consuming.

My assumption is that we ALL use Microsoft Word when we write. (That’s because I like to haul out that old adage about ASSUME.) But really, I’m sure the Help section of whatever word processing program you use can teach you how to do page breaks--which is the key to making chapter breaks.

The nifty part about doing page breaks is that no matter how much editing or revising you do on your work, the chapter breaks will always remain at the top of the page. Not so if you use the Enter Key multiple times (sometimes up to 30 times!) to make “Chapter Six” appear at the top of the next page.

All you need do is at the end of chapter one, hit the return key once. Then insert a page break.

On the newer ribbon-style versions of Word, go to the “Insert” tab. In the first section called “Pages” you will find an icon called “Page Breaks.” Click it and Word takes you to the top of the next page. Magic!

It has been many years (more than one constitutes many, right?) since I’ve used the older icon-based version of Word, but I do have a screenshot that shows an “Insert” pull-down menu along the top bar. I’d be willing to bet that they’ve stored the page break command there.

The house preference for The Wild Rose Press is to have the chapter title aka “Chapter 2” or “Chapter Two” placed on line 6 of the page (5 blank lines) indented as a paragraph (not centered). Then we insert one blank line and the body of the text begins.

For a more detailed account (including pictures!) of this procedure and five other exciting ways to please your editor, leave your email address in the Comments section and I will send you a copy of the tutorial I send all my new authors, “Polishing Your Manuscript.” It includes both pre- and post-Word 2007 instructions.)

Free! No obligation! No credit card required! Your email address will not be used for marketing purposes. (What other disclaimers did I miss?)

Maggie Johnson - Editor

The Wild Rose Press

Better Reading, Better Writing

Better Reading, Better Writing

Whenever you find a problem in your writing, be it in the nuts and bolts of structure or in leaden dialogue or dreary flashbacks, you'll always find an answer by studying your favorite writers and seeing how they handle the problem.

Many writers keep notebooks into which they copy outstanding phrases or even sentences from their reading. They don't ever copy these into their own work but use them as a learning tool. Reading is always the key to great writing.

Not all readers write--though if you scan the number of e-books added daily to Amazon, you may doubt the truth of that--but all writers and editors read voraciously.

This weekend I've been playing on the bite size Staples speedreader program.It's a fun way to check out your reading speed against the national average. You read a short passage, answer three comprehension questions and get a percentage comparison. And yes, I'll admit it, it's a wonderful excuse for procrastination.

If you're then looking to up your speed, try Spritzing. Content is streamed word by word, so your eyes spend no time moving around the page. This makes reading far easier, especially on small screens. Horizontal lines and hash marks focus your eyes on a red letter in each word, so you absorb the content you are reading far faster. You can also practice in different languages.

Interestingly after a few minutes on the Spritz website, I upped my score on the speedreader by nearly 40%.

Obviously the score would be better as I had already taken the test previously and knew what to expect but Spritzing led to a more relaxed yet more observant reading style. Worth a look especially when it comes to editing your work prior to submission.

Try it out. Let me know what you think in the comments below. Post your score if you see improvements in your speed reading. 

But if you prefer to read slowly and savor every word, tell us that too. How do you like to read?

* * * *

And as it's St Patrick's Day, celebrate by treating yourself to a rollicking read from The Wild Rose Press and practice your new skills on that. Here's a well reviewed historical with an Irish theme: Irish Destiny by Donna Dalton. 

Find the speedreader comparison check at

www.staples.com/sbd/cre/marketing/technology-research-centers/ereaders/speed-reader/

Start Spritzing at

http://www.spritzinc.com/# 

And please remember to let us know if you'll be speed reading in the future in the comments below.

Anne Knol