The Joy of Revision

Books aren't written—they're rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn't quite done it.

—Michael Crichton

So you received a rejection notice from a Wild Rose Press editor. She was encouraging but firm about certain changes you need to make to your story. You take a few weeks to go over the manuscript, revising it with an eye to her suggestions, and now you’re thinking about sending it back to the editor for another look.

But how do you know when you’ve done enough? It’s easy to underestimate the amount of time and patience it takes to revise a manuscript. Cosmetic changes aren’t enough—revision calls for heavy lifting. So here are some questions to ask yourself as you evaluate your manuscript (questions adapted from Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway) along with links to helpful articles in our Greenhouse:

1. Is the story about something? Is there conflict? Are your characters interesting people who have defined goals? Do those characters change in some way, from the beginning to the end? GMC: Conflict



2. Does the story begin with a hook? Did you give the reader a reason to be interested in the story? Is there tension in your story and is that tension apparent on the very first page? Grabbing the Reader on the First Page



3. Are your characters real or do they seem more like stereotypes? Are their emotions clichéd? Building Believable Characters



4. Does the story make sense? Do you show the reader enough to make the setting and your story clear? Bringing in the Senses



5. Have you avoided overwriting? Kept your characters’ emotions from being overwrought? Ways to Make Your Writing Stronger
   



6. Have you pared your story down to the essentials? Does every scene function to both move the story forward and show the reader something about the characters? Self-editing for the Flabby Writer

Piece of cake, right? So how do you know when you’ve done enough? Try doing a comparison between the original version and your revised version using MS Word’s Compare feature. You should see significant changes on every page—if not, time to get back to work. Good luck!

The Month of Love

It’s February. Love is in the air. (And on store shelves selling for twenty bucks disguised as fabulous Godiva chocolate. Yum :) I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about sexual and romantic tension in a romance.

Sexual tension is at the core of the attraction between your hero and heroine. It’s the chemistry that sizzles and bites your readers, making them long to stay up late reading more. It can be subtle—a touch or a glance—or it can be explicit. Either way, it’s one of the most important parts of your story. It shows the reader the developing desire between the hero and heroine.

But how to make your manuscript sizzle (and yes, even “sweet” romances have romantic tension—or they should—as that heat is present whenever there is a deep attraction) while still showing not telling?

Here are some tips:

--Use all your senses. You don’t want to overwhelm the reader, but visualize the scene. Bring the senses into play. What does the character see? Does the hero’s shirt hug his broad chest? Is the heroine’s skirt playing peek-a-boo with the creamy skin on the inside of her thigh? What about scents? Consider all the scents that might be present, beyond simply “musk” or “male”. Is there a lingering taste of deep, pungent dry wine on the hero’s tongue? Look up fragrances and see what terms the fragrance company uses to describe the scent. Draw the reader in.

--Sexual tension is primal. When we see someone we are attracted to, instinct kicks in. Our body responds in ways we sometimes have very little control over. The feelings are raw, animalistic. Keep the response in tune with that instinct--even in a sweet romance when you're simply describing a tingle racing up the heroine’s arm at the hero’s light, lingering touch.

--Show, don’t tell. This is pounded into our writing brains for a reason. Telling the audience that the hero excites her…well, isn’t very exciting. Show through action (does the heroine tug her hand away from the hero as if burned when he touches her because the sensation startles her?). Show through dialogue (those witty exchanges or spunky comebacks are often holding attraction at bay!). Show through well-timed internal dialogue (don’t weigh the flow of the story down, but adding in snippets will bring more romantic tension in).

--Finally, get in the mood. It’s hard to write good sexual tension, or a good love scene, if you’re thinking about the dirty dishes in the sink. So make the time to really get into your scene. Use music or candles if they help. Just be sure to be in your character’s place.

Bringing in more sexual and romantic tension to your romance will captivate the reader, move the story forward, and help develop the romance. So, pour a glass of wine (or sparkling cider) and get in the mood—to write.

Renee Lynn
Editor--Champagne Line
http://www.thewildrosepress.com/

Words that Move

I have a list of words I check, whether in my own work or in that I edit. A list of words that do not move the action forward. Stalling words. Filler words. "Fluff" words.

When editing, I tell my authors to watch out for these and eliminate as many as they can. My one caution is that they can stay in dialogue, because that is how folks speak. Often authors find they can remove these words from dialogue as well and it speeds the reader along. I compiled this list from many sources, so I do not claim ownership of this list, nor it is comprehensive of all such "trouble" words that bore readers, but here you go.

Kelly's list of "throw-away" words:
just
very
often
usually
some
although
in order to
though
maybe
a bit
a little
almost
really
actually
a lot

An example of how this improves the narrative? "John wanted some more of her kissing and hugging" vs. "John wanted more of her kissing and hugging." How about, "It was really a very cold day" vs. "It was a cold day" OR even better, get rid of "it was" and find a better verb. "Cold snapped across the pavement."

Do a "Find" and "highlight all" for each of these words. I highlight them gray so they are easy to spot but not obnoxious. Any that come up numbering less than say 15 occurances within 200 pages is not really a problem. However, if you find 300 "some" in that many pages, ya have to take a look at that.

Happy weeding!

Kelly Schaub
Yellow Faery