Punctuating dialogue

I’m consistently seeing submissions with problems in punctuating dialogue. By consistently, I mean it’s rare for me to see dialogue properly punctuated. If you think this could be you, you’re in good company. Some of these manuscripts were good enough to rate an automatic contract offer. A few punctuation problems alone will not turn me off an otherwise good story. However, proper punctuation makes an awfully good impression on a reviewing editor, so today’s post is on punctuating dialogue.

DIALOGUE TAGS Most writers know how to punctuate the basic unit of dialogue using a dialogue tag, like he said. Enclose the spoken line in double quotation marks and separate the dialogue tag from the spoken line with a comma. If the dialogue tag follows the spoken line, the comma goes inside the closing quote mark.

EXAMPLE: “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna,” she said.

If the dialogue tag comes first, the comma is right after the tag, outside the quote marks, and the final period is inside the closing quote mark.

EXAMPLE: She said, “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna.”

If the dialogue tag interrupts the spoken line, put a comma inside the first closing quote mark and after the dialogue tag.

EXAMPLE: “I’ve come,” she said, “to fix your satellite antenna.”

ACTION TAGS Using action tags instead of dialogue tags makes a richer, more active piece of writing. Action tags link more character information to the spoken line and create pictures in the reader’s mind. Action tags can precede, follow, or interrupt the spoken line, but each of these options comes with its own problems in punctuation.

Dialogue tags use words that involve making sound, like said, asked, or replied. Action tags can show almost any action, but do not involve making sounds, so, unlike dialogue tags, action tags are not connected to the spoken line with a comma. Treat the spoken line and the action tag as two separate sentences. When the action tag precedes or follows the spoken line, separate the two with a period.

EXAMPLE: She removed her hat and gazed directly into my eyes. “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna.”

EXAMPLE: “It’s right over there on the porch roof.” I pointed toward the veranda.

When the action tag interrupts the spoken line, that’s when punctuation can get wonky. Use emdashes to show interruption. When the spoken line and the action occur simultaneously, place the emdashes around the action tag outside the quote marks. Don’t put a comma at the end of the first section of dialogue because there’s no pause in the speech.

EXAMPLE: “It’s right over there”—I pointed toward the veranda—“on the porch roof.”

If the spoken line breaks off and then the action occurs, put the emdash at the place where the speech breaks off inside the closing quote mark. Treat the action tag as a separate sentence.

EXAMPLE: “How are you gonna—” I caught sight of her truck. “Oh, you brought your own ladder.”

If the spoken line trails off or hesitates, then resumes, show this with suspension points (ellipsis). Treat the action tag as a separate sentence.

EXAMPLE: “Are you sure you’re okay…” She hoisted the ladder off the truck. “…by yourself?”

These few examples will cover most forms of dialogue. If you can get these right, your editor will be very grateful!

Eilidh MacKenzie

Editor - The Wild Rose press

“And then? And then?” by Nan

Eons ago, in the dark ages of my past, a popular comedy routine had the line, “And then? And then?” It was funny, the way they did it, but now as I edit it’s not so funny when an author uses “then” repeatedly.

So many other possibilities exist for expressing the same time framing, if it needs to be expressed at all. (Sometimes it doesn’t, really, you know.

For instance:

*He jumped into the saddle and then rode off.

Leave out “then” and what difference does it make?

Exactly.

None.

Other fixes for your “then” fixation could be using words like “before,” “after,” or “following,” if you feel the need to line up action in a time-sequence order:

*She patted his hand before leaving the table.

*He went to the door after he gave the book to the boy.

*After he gave the book to the boy, he went to the door.

*Following their picnic, they bathed in the stream.

Experiment with various ways of writing your sentences to avoid using the same sentence patterns and the same word choices over and over again. Thank you!

~Nan

*No examples are from manuscripts I’ve seen.

Employ the five senses to provide new and unique images.

Employ the five senses to provide new and unique images. The sense of sight is overused, it’s easy to tell what the character is seeing, not so easy to tell what something feels, sounds or tastes like.

Try things like: The air tasted like pennies, tart and coppery. The monkey’s fur touched her cheek, bringing memories of Grandfather’s workshop, and the wads of used sandpaper on the floor. The air bit into her sinuses just like the Vicks Vapo Rub Mother used to glob on her chest.

How about this: Go outdoors. Stand barefoot in the grass, or on your fire escape. Close your eyes and let your senses take over. What do you hear: the rustle of daisies in the breeze? A couple arguing down on the sidewalk? What do you smell: your neighbor’s woodstove? Gasoline fumes? Breathe through your mouth. What does the air taste like: mildewy leaves? Tangy like acid rain? Is the grass damp with dew? Does the fire escape remind you of a bridge from which you’re about to fall?

Go indoors now—wait, open your eyes first.

Now, close them again and do the same as a moment ago. What do you smell: the baby’s dirty diaper in the trashcan? Do you hear the kids’ footsteps upstairs? Can you tell which kid is which by the way they run? Did you get goosebumps realizing you’d forgotten a pot on the stove?

Challenge your creativity. Everyone knows how a bakery smells, but what does it sound like?

Everyone has an idea of what war sounds like, but what does the air taste like?

Take everyday things like the rumble of your neighbor’s car on a cold morning. What visual image does it conjure from your childhood: the time you went shopping with your mother and threw up on her best coat?

Your favorite bathrobe is soft on your face, but what flavorful memory does it evoke—when you and your husband went to that B&B for your fifth anniversary and had apple pancakes for breakfast?

These are the sorts of images you should present to your readers; things they can sink their senses into; things that stimulate their memories and images. 

Cindy Davis

www.fiction-doctor.com

just released On the Hook

first in the Smith & Westen series

What’s In a Name? By Masha Holl

Originally published on the Wild Rose Press Greenhouse

Writing Mechanics: What’s In a Name? By Masha Holl

There's more in a name than you think. And it all depends on how you look at it.

Sometimes a character springs up all ready, clothed, in full color, and named. Sometimes, a character is a nebulous creature that needs a lot of refining, from looks to style, down to the name you will call him or her for the next weeks, months, or years, that it will take you to craft your story.

So how do you find a name? Let me tell you the ways...

I. Seven Don'ts for finding names for your characters:

1.   Don't use baby-name books for foreign or historical names. Use dictionaries and scholars as sources. In places far away and in times past, naming traditions were not like our own. Big surprise. In fact, in times past, and in to this day in some faraway places, naming is a complex ritual that must follow set patterns of great significance for the child and the adult. Not applying them properly could cause a reader to throw the book at the wall. Turn to someone who has solid knowledge of the culture you're writing about to help you with the naming.

2. Don't forget the meaning of a name. It can trigger a cascade effect that will suggest entire plot lines. Sometimes, the sound of a name is enough to satisfy a writer. Not me. I like the play with the meaning of the name. Or a pun on the origin or the sound of a name. I have a werewolf character whose name is Lucas. Why? Lupus-wolf in Latin-  sounds a lot like Lucas. I have a photographer with a last name Lucien. The name is derived from lux, which, in Latin, means light. Photographers work with light. I don't attach any deep meaning to the names, but a play on sound, on etymology, or on meaning helps me focus my character.

3. Don't rely on baby name books and web sites for the etymology of names. Few of them are put together by linguists, nor are thoroughly researched. Always double-check the information. I always look up the Russian names in baby name books, and then the French names, because I can spot mistakes very easily. I always spot very basic mistakes. I do know whereof I speak. If I can't trust the selfsame books to give me information I can verify how can I trust them to provide me with information I do not know?

4. Don't use the same initial of the same beginning sound for more than one character per story. Cathy and Carmen are too close to fit in one novel. So are Cathy and Katerina. But Cindy and Corrina are OK. Sound is more important than the actual written letter, but too many names looking alike will confuse the reader. The reader doesn't like to be confused. Better keep your character's names varied. No, it's not like real life. It's called fiction. Unless, of course, everybody else in the story is confused and it's a significant aspect of the plot. But you would have to justify it.

5.    Don't use gender-ambiguous names -- unless you do it on purpose. The name makes the character. Make sure a man's name sounds like it, too. Unless you want it to be effeminate. It's all up to you but be mindful of the effect of the name. I'm not talking fashion and passing associations between names and popular characters, but names that could be either masculine or feminine. Does Robin stand for Robert or Roberta? It can work either way.

6. Don't use first names as last names if it's going to confuse the reader. Especially if they're gender-ambiguous. Unless you're doing it on purpose. Mike Robert might look like a good name, but you're going to trip someone with it. Yourself first in all likelihood. It's not a very hard fix to change it to Mike Roberts. Or even better Robertson.

7.    Don't apply English grammar to foreign names. People spend years learning foreign languages. They will throw your book at the wall if you don't respect their hard work.

II. Seven Dos for finding names for your characters:

1.   Do recite the alphabet. The sound or shape of an initial letter might bring up the perfect name. Sound is important. It will not matter, not consciously, to your reader. But you have to like your character, and the sound of the name is part of it. Listening to it, or looking at the shape of letters as initials of a character's name is an entirely different game from reading ordinary words on a page. A big part of writing is playing mind tricks with yourself.

2. Do use good name dictionaries that provide the history and meaning of a name. Even if you don't share it with your readers, the information can help crystallize some aspect of your character's nature for you. And you'll have readers who will enjoy looking for it. Just imagine you're building a fan base. You're becoming well known for the small details. Your readers research the meaning of your character's names and how it reflects their nature, their background, or their deep dark secrets. All that can be contained in one little name. A key for you to use.

3. Do break the rules. But know the rules first. Length of name and sound combinations will affect a reader's reaction to your character. But you can only control that in your own language. And your own time. A name will sound odd to another culture regardless of your effort at making it universal. But then a reader who picks up a book by a foreign author expects strangeness, so we shouldn't worry about that. There's really only one rule to anything in writing: don't confuse the reader. And that means, make names memorable, pronounceable, and distinct.

4. Do consider the sound of a name. And the feel. And your first reaction to it. It's a good bet your reader will have a similar reaction. Need I say more?

5.    Do use other writers' ideas, even Great Writers such as Austen, Tolstoy, and Dickens. How did they pick their names? How do the names correspond to the characters? Don't be afraid to learn from the masters. Tolstoy often played on names of real people. We will never forget Austen or Dickens's heroes. Why should we avoid reading and learning from them? Why should we limit ourselves to what's on the market right now? It would be like learning to write by typing on a keyboard. What if the power went off? Shouldn't you be able to handle a simple pencil? Old fashioned never goes out of style in writing.

6. Do play with spelling -- but know what you're doing. There are variations, but there are also rules. We're back to the dictionary here. Variations on names are one thing, but creative spelling is a distracter you don't want to impose on your readers. Unless, of course, you need to do it on purpose for a specific character. But then it becomes a plot point, and that's another story altogether. A corollary of the "don't confuse your reader" rule is: "keep it simple". Which doesn't mean "keep it moronic". Streamline it. Smooth it out. Make it glide.

7.   Do make sure that the form of the name fits the genre of your story. Time, place, the vast universe... Don't give your Viking a cowboy name, or your Victorian lady a Chicago moll moniker. The same applies to the spelling of said names. And check all of it before you send it to any agent or editor. They know a lot about all of this.

If your critique partner, or group, expresses doubts about names, take it under advisement, but check the historic and linguistic accuracy of names with someone who's a specialist in the field. A graduate student. A professor. A fellow writer with an advanced degree, or proven research experience. Someone who's good at surfing the Web for tidbits of information is not necessarily a good source. Not necessarily bad, but...
 
****

Masha Holl was raised on magic tales, Russian literature, Mozart, Verdi, and French cuisine. Today, she writes romantic science fiction and fantasy---that's werewolves, spaceships, and alien universes---to the sounds of Metal Rock.  

Reprinted with permission.

Theme By Megan Kerans

Originally published on the Wild Rose Press Greenhouse

Writing Mechanics: Theme By Megan Kerans

Theme when used to its full advantage can be a powerful ally for writers and their stories, especially in a genre that has to fight for respect. As romance writers we often take a lot of grief and endure our work being called "silly, frivolous, and at worst meaningless." But, we aren't the only ones to endure these obstacles, just ask Walt Disney.

When Walt began on his first full-length, feature animation film, Snow White, in the late 1930's, the public viewed cartoons with the same descriptors I used above. As we all know, Walt changed people's opinions. One of the biggest keys to his success was incorporating strong themes into his stories.

What does Theme do?

Theme gives you three key elements

1. A base
2. Emotion for the characters & readers
3. Enriches the whole

A base
Many times plot is described as the frame or skeleton of story on top of which you add characters, goals, setting, and all the other necessary elements. If that's true, then theme is the DNA running through the bones and wood.

Whatever your theme, that universal truth comes out in your narrative. That belief shapes how you tell your story and what receives emphasis. Take Disney's Beauty and The Beast and its theme, "don't judge a book by its cover". The animators used multiple scenes to show The Beast as kind and generous, such as him feeding small birds and giving his library to Belle. And on the opposite side, we see the handsome villain Gaston being a jerk and plotting to have Belle's father committed as insane. If the story's theme had been about a young girl's search for adventure or a better life, those scenes wouldn't belong in the final film.

The same way theme guides what scenes go in a story, it also guides what roles characters play. Still looking at Beauty and the Beast and "don't judge a book by its cover", theme guides and shows the differences in your characters. The Beast is ugly on the outside, but a good person on the inside. Gaston is handsome outside, but an ugly person inside. Imagine trying to tell the same story with a cover model-looking hero?

Emotion for the characters & readers

Walt Disney said, "If I can't find a theme, I can't make a film anyone else will feel." He was right. That universal truth creates an emotional connection with your reader, the same way your characters do.
This is where the "universal" part of theme comes in. When readers can relate, they dip into and attach their own emotions. Emotion creates an attachment to not only the idea, but the characters. When the Beast is shunned for his appearance, the viewers feel his pain. They connect to him as well as the idea of not judging by looks alone.

Likewise, how a character feels about the theme, which relates to their goal, taps into their emotions and influences their actions.

Enriches the whole

Walt Disney had another belief. "Theme is a key creation of stories that endure forever, and characters that take up permanent residence in lives of filmgoers around the world." Considering fifty years or have passed since the original creation of many of Walt's fairytales and they are still as beloved today as then, he was on to something.

While characters have an external goal-to get the gold, a new job, or save the Earth-it's the lesson they learn that makes a story richer. We remember the lesson because it drew our caring. Suddenly, the tale goes from "silly" such as finding gold to something much more important.

The lack of this enrichment or important lesson by the character is most often times the reason sequels don't do well or work. The story is too focused on the external.

Imagine Beauty and The Beast if at the end of the story the only change was that the Beast became human?

What kinds of Theme are there?
 Ambition   Jealousy   Beauty   Loneliness   Betrayal   Love   Courage   Loyalty   Duty (filial piety)   Perseverance   Forgiveness   Fear   Prejudice   Freedom (Aladdin)   Suffering   Happiness   Truth   Redemption   Acceptance   True love conquers all (Sleeping Beauty)   Let your conscience be your guide (Pinocchio)   Don't judge a book by its cover (Beauty & The Beast)  

These are just a few possible themes. There are many more.
****
Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/

Writing a Good Synopsis By Nicola Martinez

Originally Published in the Wild Rose Press Greenhouse

Writing a Good Synopsis By Nicola Martinez

Writing a good short synopsis is often more difficult that writing a long, or chapter-by-chapter synopsis, so I thought it might be helpful to some, if we went over the elements of a good synopsis, as well as a brief “outline” of how to write one.

ELEMENTS OF A GOOD SYNOPSIS:

1. CONFLICT: The number one thing that must be conveyed in a synopsis--whether the synopsis is one to two pages, or a chapter by chapter--is CONFLICT. A story isn’t good without conflict, and so you must show the editor that you have woven a story rife with conflict.

2. SETTING: The editor needs to know the time and place of the novel. Be sure to include the significance of the setting, if it’s important to the story. Is there are reason you set your novel in 1850s California or could you have told the same story if you’d set it in 1850’s Louisiana?

3. MOTIVATION: Next, you must show your characters’ motivations. These are the things that shore up the conflict, and they must be believable. If your hero is a recluse and your heroine is reporter trying to get the scoop on the hero, then that sounds like great conflict BUT the reason your hero is a recluse must be believable. He can’t be a recluse solely because that is a great opposite to the reporter getting the story. And your reporter heroine can’t be dogging the hero for a story just because a reporter is a great opposite to a reclusive hero—She’s got to want the story for some fantastic reason that makes the reader want to find out what happens. Perhaps she thinks the hero is a murderer and has become reclusive just to save himself from jail, and so she vows to uncover him—to make the motivation stronger, maybe she’s related to the deceased. Then her motivation for exposing him is even greater than “just a prize- winning story.” Whatever your character’s motivations are for doing whatever it is he or she is doing in the story have to be believable. Which brings us to our next element which is

4. LOGICAL PROGRESSION: Make sure that you present your climaxes and crises in the order they appear in the manuscript. This helps show that you have a firm hold on the story and that your story weaving will build from start to conclusion, rather than being choppy and confusing. You don’t want the editor to think that you plug in a scene or conflict just when you think of it along the way—as in “BTW, the reason I’m writing this now is because this happened earlier and I forgot to tell you.” Logical progression also means showing the growth and change of character. Your broken hero can’t suddenly be fixed at the end without showing the means by which he got fixed. It’s not enough to say, “my hero doesn’t know how to love, but by the end of the story, he learns how.” You have to show what experiences are in the book that teach him how to love. And these don’t have to be bulleted points; they just have to be clearly outlined.

5. RESOLUTION: Just as you have to show the logical growth and change in the characters, you also have to convey a satisfying and believable resolution to the conflicts you’ve created. How does the recluse get over his need to separate himself?  How does the reporter come to realize that she’s tagged the wrong man solely because of her desire for vengeance? What events happen in the book that help the issues resolve?

6. FORMATTING: Once you have all your content in mind, it’s time to format and write. Your synopsis should be double spaced, with a header that clearly defines title- Synopsis in one upper corner, your name and page number (if more than one page) in the other upper corner. 1 to 1 ½ inch margins all the way around

Once you have all these things in your mind, you’ll be able to weave a provocative synopsis. “But, how do I do that?” you ask. Well, let me give you an easy formula which should help you hammer out a one to two page synopsis in no time, but first, let me say that there is no one way to write a synopsis, no magic formula. In that way it’s a lot like writing your story. The synopsis has to convey your own writing style, and so it has to be unique.

That said, I’ve found a type of formula to keep in mind so that all the necessary elements are included. If you’re writing a romance, keep in mind four words: hero, heroine, conflict, resolution. If you’re writing something like suspense, you’ll want to adjust that to: Hero, Villain, Conflict, Resolution. Or maybe Hero, Victim, Conflict, Resolution. It will depend on where your strongest characters and plot drivers are.

So: In the opening, introduce the hero (or heroine) being sure to include his motivations and emotions. Next, introduce the heroine and her motivations. After you’ve done that, introduce the conflict that is between them. It is important to note that oftentimes the conflict will be (and maybe, even should be) woven into the introductions of the hero and heroine. The conflict being more separated from these introductions usually comes in a mystery/suspense novel because the conflicts are oftentimes more external than in a romance—the murder or other crime which initially throws the hero and heroine together—but in that type of novel there are usually more internal conflicts as well, and these will be introduced while showing the hero’s and heroine’s motivations. Even in a straight romance, however, you may introduce internal conflict while talking about the hero, and then the heroine, but then, also have a paragraph which delves into some external conflicts that are included.

Lastly, describe the Conflict resolution. How does everything wrap up to reach the logical end of the story.
It may sound a little daunting, but just remember, you write a synopsis the same way you would tell your friends and family about your book: “It’s about this guy named Joe who [insert motivations here]” And then he meets this girl who [insert motivations here], but they can’t get together because {insert conflict here}but [this happens and that happens {plot progressions}] and so at the end [insert resolution]

****
Nicola Martinez is an award-winning author who has been writing and studying romance for decades. Nicola was a magazine and newspaper editor.

Tech Talk: Chapter Breaks

Tech Talk: Chapter Breaks

Want your editor to love you? Or at the very least, make your manuscript look a bit more professional?

Learning to do chapter breaks can be fun. Okay...that might be the geek in me coming out. But really, it’s not that difficult, and if you make it a habit as you are writing your next story it’s not even time consuming.

My assumption is that we ALL use Microsoft Word when we write. (That’s because I like to haul out that old adage about ASSUME.) But really, I’m sure the Help section of whatever word processing program you use can teach you how to do page breaks--which is the key to making chapter breaks.

The nifty part about doing page breaks is that no matter how much editing or revising you do on your work, the chapter breaks will always remain at the top of the page. Not so if you use the Enter Key multiple times (sometimes up to 30 times!) to make “Chapter Six” appear at the top of the next page.

All you need do is at the end of chapter one, hit the return key once. Then insert a page break.

On the newer ribbon-style versions of Word, go to the “Insert” tab. In the first section called “Pages” you will find an icon called “Page Breaks.” Click it and Word takes you to the top of the next page. Magic!

It has been many years (more than one constitutes many, right?) since I’ve used the older icon-based version of Word, but I do have a screenshot that shows an “Insert” pull-down menu along the top bar. I’d be willing to bet that they’ve stored the page break command there.

The house preference for The Wild Rose Press is to have the chapter title aka “Chapter 2” or “Chapter Two” placed on line 6 of the page (5 blank lines) indented as a paragraph (not centered). Then we insert one blank line and the body of the text begins.

For a more detailed account (including pictures!) of this procedure and five other exciting ways to please your editor, leave your email address in the Comments section and I will send you a copy of the tutorial I send all my new authors, “Polishing Your Manuscript.” It includes both pre- and post-Word 2007 instructions.)

Free! No obligation! No credit card required! Your email address will not be used for marketing purposes. (What other disclaimers did I miss?)

Maggie Johnson - Editor

The Wild Rose Press

Who Are My Characters? By Myla Jackson

Originally posted in the TWRP Greenhouse

Who Are My Characters? By Myla Jackson

Before I begin a new story, I lay out all my characters so that I know what they look like,who they are and what makes them act the way they act. Let's take one step at a time...

 What do they look like?
 Hair color, style, length
 eye color
 Height
 body structure
 clothing style
 age
 skin (color and texture)
 scars (location & why)
 Sometimes it helps to cut out a picture from a magazine or print one from online of a person you picture as that character. That way you have a clear picture in your mind when you put the description into words.
 Where do they live?  Apartment  house  ranch  city  state  country  description of abode
 Who lives with him/her?
 Where a person lives tells a lot about that individual. Getting to know where they live and with whom, gives you more insight into your character. Does the woman have a roommate? Does the man still live with his mother? Does your heroine live in a homeless shelter?
 Does your hero live on a ranch?  

Getting to know the outside of your character is important, but more important to your story is what's on the inside. What makes them tick? Why do they behave the way they do? How do they react to different stimuli? One of the steps in getting to know your characters is a basic understanding of their goals, motivations and conflicts. A good book to have in your arsenal of writer's weapons is Debra Dixon's book Goal, Motivation & Conflict. If you get a chance to see her workshop, do it! It's worth every penny spent.
Here's my interpretation of what these three words stand for and how you find them in your characters:

Goals

What does he/she want? A lot of the time, a character believes he/she wants something at the beginning of the story only to find out by the end of the story, that's not what he/she wants anymore. This morphing-of-the-goals comes from character growth. What does he/she learn along the way? So when you start your story, identify what your character thinks he/she wants. Then identify what he/she really needs. For example, your hero might think he needs to be the richest man in town and in acquiring his wealth; he squashes everyone in his path. What he really needs is to move on and forgive.

Motivations

Why does he/she want it? It's not good enough to know your character's goals. You have to dig deeper and understand why he wants what he wants. If your hero's goal is to be the richest man in town, why does he want this? Is it because he was born on the wrong side of the tracks and he's determined to punish everyone in town for turning their noses up at him when he was growing up. Or is it because the rich town mayor wouldn't let him marry his daughter and now he's out to prove he's good enough? Either way, the motivation will help you to understand why he thinks he needs what he wants. It will also help you to understand what he really needs.

Conflicts

Why can't he/she have it? A story without conflict is a boring story. Every reader wants to cheer the hero on. How can you do that if everything in his life is hunky-dory? He doesn't need a cheering section. The reader will get bored with him and go look for someone with real problems she can invest herself in. She wants a character that reflects the real world. How many people go through life trouble-free? Not many. We like to know others have problems and we cheer them on to overcome their issues so that they can triumph in the end. Think about the time you went to a football game and you were on the side of the winning team, but they were winning by such a longshot that you started cheering for the losing team. Give your characters conflicts!!!!!! If you love them enough, you'll torture them and hurt them and make them cry. How you do this is by creating conflicts that get in the way of them attaining their goals. Make it relevant by hitting them below the belt in their motivations. Hero thinks he needs to be the wealthiest man in town and squash everyone in his path. Put obstacles in his path. Make those obstacles matter. Make them show him how wrong he is to want to hurt others. By the end of the book, he will see that he no longer wants to be the richest man in town. He didn't know it, but he only ever wanted to belong. (Like in the Scrouge).

Get to know all your characters. Even your villain. The more you know them, the more you will discover ways to introduce them to your reader and show how they will grow and overcome their problems.

****

Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

Bringing in the Senses By Beverly Oz

Originally Published in the TWRP Greenhouse

Sensory Detail: Bringing in the Senses By Beverly Oz

Ever run across the sweet, heady smell of honeysuckle while driving in the country? Can you close your eyes and visualize the vibrant reds and pinks of a sunset, or the pale greens of a newly budded tree? Can you imagine the brush of a feather against the backside of your knee? When you think about licking a freshly cut lemon and allowing its tangy juice to linger on your tongue, does your mouth water? Does the sound of honking of horns and screeching of tires make you cringe?

Can you smell it?

Can you taste it?

Can you hear it?

Can you see it?

Now think about what you've just read and how those words affected your senses? Did you smell the honeysuckle? See the reds, oranges, and greens? How about that lemon? Could you almost taste it?
Sensory Response

The human mind reacts to sensory suggestions, even suggestions taken in through written words. After a person experiences a sound, touch, taste, etc., the mere mention of the experienced sense can quickly evoke a sensory response.

For a writer, like myself, this is powerful information. Why? Because I know I can control what my readers see, smell, taste, hear, and feel simply by choosing one word over another. For example, consider the impact of changing just a few words in the following sentence.

Can you feel it?

I rubbed my hand against the furry softness of the cashmere sweater.

I rubbed my hand against the slick, almost wet, skin of the snake.

I opened the door and was nearly knocked down by the oppressive heat and humidity.

I opened the door and was nearly knocked down by the frigid north wind.

When I write, I carefully sprinkle in sensory words to achieve greater reader involvement. I want the readers to experience what my heroines and heroes experience and become immersed in my story. If I can coax the people who buy my books to completely lose themselves in my books' make- believe worlds, maybe they'll come back for more.

****

Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

Carving Into Your Manuscript By Layla Chase

*Originally published in the Greenhouse on the Wild Rose Press website

Carving Into Your Manuscript By Layla Chase

At holiday meals, have you ever noticed the fuss about who gets the honor of carving the turkey or goose? Expertise is involved and most usually profess not wanting to be in charge of the meal's centerpiece. Don't we all suspect the carver secretly enjoys the attention and resulting accolades? We as writers are the masters or mistresses of our creative masterpieces-our manuscripts. So, let's all grab a sharp knife and dig in.

Let's work on word editing and rearranging sentences to elicit the maximum effect.

Gerunds-cut to the real meat of the sentence when describing a character's movements

 EX: Running into the house, she dialed John's number on her cell phone. (Ouch-shouldn't she dial 911. My first impression was the character literally hitting the outside wall.)

 EX: Opening the door, he flipped on the light and drew his gun. (Almost sounds like the character has 3 hands, which is okay if this is science fiction and he's an alien.)
Cause & effect-Slice into the middle of the sentence to retrieve the event that initiates a reaction.

 EX: The sound increased when James swung open the door to his house.(effect before cause)

 EX: When James opened the front door, the sound of the lawnmower intensified.(cause then effect)
Power words-save those luscious words for the end where they give the most flavor

 EX: The night was noisy, then Caleb felt the danger all around him. (telling and vague)

 EX: The croaking frogs and whirring cicadas quieted, the hairs on his arms prickled, then Caleb sensed danger. (specific details and ends with power word)

 EX: The mangled corpse was covered with blood from head to toe.(passive)

 EX: Every square inch of the mangled corpse dripped with blood. (pumped verb, power word at end)

 EX: Blood dripped from every square inch of the mangled corpse. (another power word)
Overuse of adverbs-think of them as a spice that should be sprinkled, not shaken. Use of words ending in -ly often indicates a weak verb needs to be boosted.

 EX: Maddie walked smartly across the room.

 EX: Maddie strode across the room.

 EX: Mr. Jensen talked softly to his wife about the movie.

 EX: Mr. Jensen whispered to his wife about the movie.

With the inclusion of these tips in your self-editing process, you'll have your manuscript lean and mean in no time. Happy carving!

****
Reprinted with permission from  http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

What’s In a Name? By Masha Holl

Originally publishing in the Greenhouse on the Wild Rose Press website

What’s In a Name? By Masha Holl

There's more in a name than you think. And it all depends on how you look at it.

Sometimes a character springs up all ready, clothed, in full color, and named. Sometimes, a character is a nebulous creature that needs a lot of refining, from looks to style, down to the name you will call him or her for the next weeks, months, or years, that it will take you to craft your story.

So how do you find a name? Let me tell you the ways...

I. Seven Don'ts for finding names for your characters:

1.   Don't use baby-name books for foreign or historical names. Use dictionaries and scholars as sources. In places far away and in times past, naming traditions were not like our own. Big surprise. In fact, in times past, and in to this day in some faraway places, naming is a complex ritual that must follow set patterns of great significance for the child and the adult. Not applying them properly could cause a reader to throw the book at the wall. Turn to someone who has solid knowledge of the culture you're writing about to help you with the naming.

2. Don't forget the meaning of a name. It can trigger a cascade effect that will suggest entire plot lines. Sometimes, the sound of a name is enough to satisfy a writer. Not me. I like the play with the meaning of the name. Or a pun on the origin or the sound of a name. I have a werewolf character whose name is Lucas. Why? Lupus-wolf in Latin-  sounds a lot like Lucas. I have a photographer with a last name Lucien. The name is derived from lux, which, in Latin, means light. Photographers work with light. I don't attach any deep meaning to the names, but a play on sound, on etymology, or on meaning helps me focus my character.

3. Don't rely on baby name books and web sites for the etymology of names. Few of them are put together by linguists, nor are thoroughly researched. Always double-check the information. I always look up the Russian names in baby name books, and then the French names, because I can spot mistakes very easily. I always spot very basic mistakes. I do know whereof I speak. If I can't trust the selfsame books to give me information I can verify how can I trust them to provide me with information I do not know?

4. Don't use the same initial of the same beginning sound for more than one character per story. Cathy and Carmen are too close to fit in one novel. So are Cathy and Katerina. But Cindy and Corrina are OK. Sound is more important than the actual written letter, but too many names looking alike will confuse the reader. The reader doesn't like to be confused. Better keep your character's names varied. No, it's not like real life. It's called fiction. Unless, of course, everybody else in the story is confused and it's a significant aspect of the plot. But you would have to justify it.

5.    Don't use gender-ambiguous names -- unless you do it on purpose. The name makes the character. Make sure a man's name sounds like it, too. Unless you want it to be effeminate. It's all up to you but be mindful of the effect of the name. I'm not talking fashion and passing associations between names and popular characters, but names that could be either masculine or feminine. Does Robin stand for Robert or Roberta? It can work either way.

6. Don't use first names as last names if it's going to confuse the reader. Especially if they're gender-ambiguous. Unless you're doing it on purpose. Mike Robert might look like a good name, but you're going to trip someone with it.

Yourself first in all likelihood. It's not a very hard fix to change it to Mike Roberts. Or even better Robertson.

 7.    Don't apply English grammar to foreign names. People spend years learning foreign languages. They will throw your book at the wall if you don't respect their hard work.

II. Seven Dos for finding names for your characters:

1.   Do recite the alphabet. The sound or shape of an initial letter might bring up the perfect name. Sound is important. It will not matter, not consciously, to your reader. But you have to like your character, and the sound of the name is part of it. Listening to it, or looking at the shape of letters as initials of a character's name is an entirely different game from reading ordinary words on a page. A big part of writing is playing mind tricks with yourself.

2. Do use good name dictionaries that provide the history and meaning of a name. Even if you don't share it with your readers, the information can help crystallize some aspect of your character's nature for you. And you'll have readers who will enjoy looking for it. Just imagine you're building a fan base. You're becoming well known for the small details. Your readers research the meaning of your character's names and how it reflects their nature, their background, or their deep dark secrets. All that can be contained in one little name. A key for you to use.

3. Do break the rules. But know the rules first. Length of name and sound combinations will affect a reader's reaction to your character. But you can only control that in your own language. And your own time. A name will sound odd to another culture regardless of your effort at making it universal. But then a reader who picks up a book by a foreign author expects strangeness, so we shouldn't worry about that. There's really only one rule to anything in writing: don't confuse the reader. And that means, make names memorable, pronounceable, and distinct.

4. Do consider the sound of a name. And the feel. And your first reaction to it. It's a good bet your reader will have a similar reaction. Need I say more?

5.    Do use other writers' ideas, even Great Writers such as Austen, Tolstoy, and Dickens. How did they pick their names? How do the names correspond to the characters? Don't be afraid to learn from the masters. Tolstoy often played on names of real people. We will never forget Austen or Dickens's heroes.

Why should we avoid reading and learning from them? Why should we limit ourselves to what's on the market right now? It would be like learning to write by typing on a keyboard. What if the power went off? Shouldn't you be able to handle a simple pencil? Old fashioned never goes out of style in writing.

6. Do play with spelling -- but know what you're doing. There are variations, but there are also rules. We're back to the dictionary here. Variations on names are one thing, but creative spelling is a distracter you don't want to impose on your readers. Unless, of course, you need to do it on purpose for a specific character. But then it becomes a plot point, and that's another story altogether. A corollary of the "don't confuse your reader" rule is: "keep it simple". Which doesn't mean "keep it moronic". Streamline it. Smooth it out. Make it glide.

7.   Do make sure that the form of the name fits the genre of your story. Time, place, the vast universe... Don't give your Viking a cowboy name, or your Victorian lady a Chicago moll moniker. The same applies to the spelling of said names. And check all of it before you send it to any agent or editor. They know a lot about all of this.

If your critique partner, or group, expresses doubts about names, take it under advisement, but check the historic and linguistic accuracy of names with someone who's a specialist in the field. A graduate student. A professor. A fellow writer with an advanced degree, or proven research experience. Someone who's good at surfing the Web for tidbits of information is not necessarily a good source. Not necessarily bad, but...

****

Masha Holl was raised on magic tales, Russian literature, Mozart, Verdi, and French cuisine. Today, she writes romantic science fiction and fantasy---that's werewolves, spaceships, and alien universes---to the sounds of Metal Rock.  

Reprinted with permission.

Theme By Megan Kerans

Originally published in the Greenhouse on the Wild Rose Press website

Writing Mechanics: Theme By Megan Kerans

Theme when used to its full advantage can be a powerful ally for writers and their stories, especially in a genre that has to fight for respect. As romance writers we often take a lot of grief and endure our work being called "silly, frivolous, and at worst meaningless." But, we aren't the only ones to endure these obstacles, just ask Walt Disney.

When Walt began on his first full-length, feature animation film, Snow White, in the late 1930's, the public viewed cartoons with the same descriptors I used above. As we all know, Walt changed people's opinions. One of the biggest keys to his success was incorporating strong themes into his stories.

What does Theme do?

Theme gives you three key elements

1. A base
2. Emotion for the characters & readers
3. Enriches the whole

A base

Many times plot is described as the frame or skeleton of story on top of which you add characters, goals, setting, and all the other necessary elements. If that's true, then theme is the DNA running through the bones and wood.

Whatever your theme, that universal truth comes out in your narrative. That belief shapes how you tell your story and what receives emphasis. Take Disney's Beauty and The Beast and its theme, "don't judge a book by its cover". The animators used multiple scenes to show The Beast as kind and generous, such as him feeding small birds and giving his library to Belle. And on the opposite side, we see the handsome villain Gaston being a jerk and plotting to have Belle's father committed as insane. If the story's theme had been about a young girl's search for adventure or a better life, those scenes wouldn't belong in the final film.

The same way theme guides what scenes go in a story, it also guides what roles characters play. Still looking at Beauty and the Beast and "don't judge a book by its cover", theme guides and shows the differences in your characters. The Beast is ugly on the outside, but a good person on the inside. Gaston is handsome outside, but an ugly person inside. Imagine trying to tell the same story with a cover model-looking hero?

Emotion for the characters & readers

Walt Disney said, "If I can't find a theme, I can't make a film anyone else will feel." He was right. That universal truth creates an emotional connection with your reader, the same way your characters do.

This is where the "universal" part of theme comes in. When readers can relate, they dip into and attach their own emotions. Emotion creates an attachment to not only the idea, but the characters. When the Beast is shunned for his appearance, the viewers feel his pain. They connect to him as well as the idea of not judging by looks alone.

Likewise, how a character feels about the theme, which relates to their goal, taps into their emotions and influences their actions.

Enriches the whole

Walt Disney had another belief. "Theme is a key creation of stories that endure forever, and characters that take up permanent residence in lives of filmgoers around the world." Considering fifty years or have passed since the original creation of many of Walt's fairytales and they are still as beloved today as then, he was on to something.

While characters have an external goal-to get the gold, a new job, or save the Earth-it's the lesson they learn that makes a story richer. We remember the lesson because it drew our caring. Suddenly, the tale goes from "silly" such as finding gold to something much more important.

The lack of this enrichment or important lesson by the character is most often times the reason sequels don't do well or work. The story is too focused on the external.

Imagine Beauty and The Beast if at the end of the story the only change was that the Beast became human?

What kinds of Theme are there?
 Ambition
 Jealousy
 Beauty
 Loneliness
 Betrayal
 Love
 Courage
 Loyalty
 Duty (filial piety)
 Perseverance
 Forgiveness
 Fear
 Prejudice
 Freedom (Aladdin)
 Suffering
 Happiness
 Truth
 Redemption
 Acceptance
 True love conquers all (Sleeping Beauty)
 Let your conscience be your guide (Pinocchio)
 Don't judge a book by its cover (Beauty & The Beast)
 These are just a few possible themes. There are many more.

****

Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/

Tips from the "Queen of Clichés"

If you have ever written any of these three things—oops! Sorry, there are four—please know I will catch you if I can. I may be the Queen of Clichés, but I still wield a pretty mean wet noodle. I have seen them misused so often in the galleys I process that I now check for them regularly.

He sunk into a chair.

Thunder rolled and lightening flashed.

It’s alright as long as you do it with flare.

No. these are not all right, no matter how you do them.

Let’s work in backwards order. “Flair” is the spelling you want in the third sentence above. For a character to do something with flare might indicate you have a firebug on your hands. And while we’re on the subject, how often do you use the word “flare”? Don’t avoid this question! I have seen it more than a dozen times in one book…his nostrils flared, her temper flared, his lust flared, her skirt flared, his passion flared, her nostrils flared, his anger flared, her eyes flared, etc. etc. etc. It’s a wonder it all fits in and doesn’t combust, with so much flaring going on.

“Alright” has not yet received official acceptance as a replacement for “all right.” The two-word version is still preferred. Like it or lump it. That’s all I will say about that.

And “sink, sank, have or has sunk” has been burned into my brain since sixth grade: Today I sink, yesterday I sank, and before that I had sunk” whether into a chair, a slough of despond, or beneath the waves of the ocean. It’s like “swim, swam, have or has swum” and “sing, sang, have or has sung”—Yesterday I sang and swam and sank into bed happy.

As for thunder and—What is it that flashes and then you hear the rumble? Oh, yes. Lightning. No “e” in the whole word. None. Non-e. Of course there is a word “lightening,” but it’s related to the idea of making things lighter or more clear: “Here, let me lighten your load,” or “Let me enlighten you.”

While I’ve got you by the ear, so to speak, let me mention just one more thing, on the editing/reading side of my life: How weary I am of reading the same phrases time after time in almost every book when we get to the more passionate scenes. Is there truly no other way to describe them? Does everyone have exactly the same moves? Maybe I missed the memo that said, “This is it. Use these descriptive words whenever your characters are getting it on.” Fingers and tongues “tangle” and “trace” and “tease…” I usually quit reading by then, from sheer boredom, and pick up again after they have gone “over the edge.” In processing galleys I also check for “peak” (frequently found in said love scenes) vs. “peek” and find them often overused and/or misused and occasionally substituted for “pique.” My high school English teacher used to groan over the song lyrics of her youth rhyming “spoon” and “moon” and “June” and “croon.” Now I know why. Suffice it to say there must be descriptive words in the dictionary that would give your writing more individuality and flair rather than sounding like you copied the scene out of the last romance you read and merely substituted your characters’ names.

My apologies if the above sounds harsh. But remember—I don’t deal with nearly as many books per week as those readers who go through at least five books a week, some as many as twenty-five or more per week, so they say. Do you think they will not notice these things? Do you think they won’t take note of your name and figure they’ll look for an author with more variety in her vocabulary? Keep a dictionary and a thesaurus handy and try using one new word per book. Too much to ask?

Nancy Swanson- Editor

The Wild Rose Press

Why Bother to Write? By Betty Hanawa

*Originally published on the Wild Rose Press website

Why Bother to Write? By Betty Hanawa

The air is sweet with perfume of springtime blossoms. There's a cool breeze blowing no longer holding the sharp bite of winter. It's time to be enjoying the outside before Summer's heat and humidity makes everything miserable. The last thing you want to do right now is sit at a blasted keyboard and try to write a book.

Why bother?

On the other hand, you've dealt with cranky co-workers all day, came home to a family who has the audacity to demand supper and clean clothes. The last thing you have time for is to write on a book that odds say is never going to be published anyway. So why bother?

But wait! The Muse showed up with a perfect scene. You finish cleaning up the supper dishes and head to the keyboard. The words are flowing. But the youngest kid leans against your shoulder and you realize he's got a fever. The teenager screams from the family room that the dog just puked up all the corn chips the teenager thought it was fun to toss so the dog could catch them. Naturally, you have to clean it up because the teenager will puke herself if she attempts the job. Now you've got a headache. You might as well go to bed after taking care of all the family's needs. The Muse will be gone anyway.

Why bother to try to write?

Because you have to do something for yourself.

Everyone needs a creative aspect in their life to make their soul sing. You're reading this newsletter because your soul needs to write, whether it's a journal you keep for your own self-pleasure, articles for newsletters, or a story with characters you've created and love.

But how do you get time for yourself to create with the Muse?

There's not much you can do about the cranky co-workers and the day job, except to firmly remind yourself what happens at the job, stays at the job. You're not paid enough to worry about the dratted day job on your home time.

Household chores - a teenager and a spouse can each make a dinner meal once a week. A four year- old can set the table and help with clean-up. And, yes, teenagers and spouse can be introduced to Ms. Washer and Mr. Dryer and be responsible for laundry. Everyone lives there. Why are you the only one doing the household chores? The teenager made the dog sick, she can clean it up - then clean up her own mess.

Granted a feverish kid needs your attention. But once the kid is dosed up and put to bed, there's no reason for you to provide entertainment. A sick child needs sleep. Check on him once in awhile, but it's amazing how quickly a child gets well when bed rest and nothing but bed rest is enforced.

To fill your own creative need, you must get back to the Muse

Now here's the thing about the Muse. If you make the time to show up at the keyboard, the Muse shows up, too. It might take awhile. You might have to force yourself to write garbage for a while - which is really hard if you haven't discovered yet how to kill that stupid Internal Editor who sneers at any imperfection. But, if you write enough garbage, eventually the Muse gets curious, comes back, and says "Here, let me help."

The Muse always, always appears when you sit down to write. You've all heard of the tools to help you write while away from the computer. In addition to a laptop, there's the AlphaSmart and its companions The Neo and The Dana. If those are out of your price range, there's always the standard yellow tablet and pen or pencil.

The Muse needs the invitation to join you.

The invitation gets issued when you sit to write. If you deny your creative urge to write, you'll get frustrated, then resentful, and you become the cranky one your coworkers and family complain about.

For your own peace, for the peace of those who love you, take time from each day to write. They'll complain at the beginning, but don't give in. Your coworkers and boss need to learn that your time away from the office is your time, not theirs. Your family will not only learn to respect your private time, but gain their own self-respect by learning skills that will serve them in their own lives.

When you don't grant yourself the self-respect to value your writing, how do you expect respect from anyone else?

Spring is the time of new life. Give your writing a new life. Set writing goals of pages per week and make those goals despite all the distractions life throws at you. Be firm and make sure the family and friends respect your time for yourself. Getting them in the habit of leaving you alone now makes it handy when you're published and have unmovable deadlines.

And if the warm Spring breezes and blooming flowers are completely irresistible?

Take your writing tablet and pencil outside and invite the Muse to join you. Start writing and the Muse will come.

Who Are My Characters? By Myla Jackson

*Originally published on the Wild Rose Press website

Who Are My Characters? By Myla Jackson

Before I begin a new story, I lay out all my characters so that I know what they look like,who they are and what makes them act the way they act. Let's take one step at a time...

 What do they look like?
 Hair color, style, length
 eye color
 Height
 body structure
 clothing style
 age
 skin (color and texture)
 scars (location & why)
 Sometimes it helps to cut out a picture from a magazine or print one from online of a person you picture as that character. That way you have a clear picture in your mind when you put the description into words.
 Where do they live?
 Apartment
 house
 ranch
 city
 state
 country
 description of abode
 Who lives with him/her?
 Where a person lives tells a lot about that individual. Getting to know where they live and with whom, gives you more insight into your character. Does the woman have a roommate? Does the man still live with his mother? Does your heroine live in a homeless shelter?
 Does your hero live on a ranch?  

Getting to know the outside of your character is important, but more important to your story is what's on the inside. What makes them tick? Why do they behave the way they do? How do they react to different stimuli? One of the steps in getting to know your characters is a basic understanding of their goals, motivations and conflicts. A good book to have in your arsenal of writer's weapons is Debra Dixon's book Goal, Motivation & Conflict. If you get a chance to see her workshop, do it! It's worth every penny spent.

Here's my interpretation of what these three words stand for and how you find them in your characters:

Goals

What does he/she want? A lot of the time, a character believes he/she wants something at the beginning of the story only to find out by the end of the story, that's not what he/she wants anymore. This morphing-of-the-goals comes from character growth. What does he/she learn along the way? So when you start your story, identify what your character thinks he/she wants. Then identify what he/she really needs. For example, your hero might think he needs to be the richest man in town and in acquiring his wealth; he squashes everyone in his path. What he really needs is to move on and forgive.

Motivations

Why does he/she want it? It's not good enough to know your character's goals. You have to dig deeper and understand why he wants what he wants. If your hero's goal is to be the richest man in town, why does he want this? Is it because he was born on the wrong side of the tracks and he's determined to punish everyone in town for turning their noses up at him when he was growing up. Or is it because the rich town mayor wouldn't let him marry his daughter and now he's out to prove he's good enough? Either way, the motivation will help you to understand why he thinks he needs what he wants. It will also help you to understand what he really needs.

Conflicts

Why can't he/she have it? A story without conflict is a boring story. Every reader wants to cheer the hero on.
How can you do that if everything in his life is hunky-dory? He doesn't need a cheering section. The reader will get bored with him and go look for someone with real problems she can invest herself in. She wants a character that reflects the real world. How many people go through life trouble-free? Not many. We like to know others have problems and we cheer them on to overcome their issues so that they can triumph in the end. Think about the time you went to a football game and you were on the side of the winning team, but they were winning by such a longshot that you started cheering for the losing team. Give your characters conflicts!!!!!! If you love them enough, you'll torture them and hurt them and make them cry. How you do this is by creating conflicts that get in the way of them attaining their goals. Make it relevant by hitting them below the belt in their motivations. Hero thinks he needs to be the wealthiest man in town and squash everyone in his path. Put obstacles in his path. Make those obstacles matter. Make them show him how wrong he is to want to hurt others. By the end of the book, he will see that he no longer wants to be the richest man in town. He didn't know it, but he only ever wanted to belong. (Like in the Scrouge).

Get to know all your characters. Even your villain. The more you know them, the more you will discover ways to introduce them to your reader and show how they will grow and overcome their problems.

****
Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

How to Email Query By Roni Adams

*originally publishing on the Wild Rose Press website

How to Email Query By Roni Adams

In this age of email and instant access to editors and agents, should your email query letter be as formal as one sent through postal mail?

Of course it should. Even though email is a more informal means of communication, your first representation of yourself and your work should always be completely professional. A query letter doesn't have to follow the same format as a written letter, like we learned in high school business class. You don't need to provide an inside address, a proscribed number of spaces, the date and a formal salutation and closing, but the letter should contain formal attributes.

Email Address should reflect you as a serious writer

To back up one step, one of the most important things in an email query should be your own email address. Is it professional? Does it reflect your writing career, such as roni@roniadams.com or is it something like toohotforyou17@hotmail.com? Which one sounds like a serious writer working towards publication? An email address should be an extension and should include your pen name, if you have one. Another thing my email demonstrates is that I have a web site where they can go to discover more about me.

Do you need a web site? That's another whole discussion, but if you have one, you should definitely advertise the fact by using that email when querying or in any correspondence with editors or agents. If you don't have one, you do need to get an email that's professional. Either with your given name or your pen name.

Okay, so now you have a professional email address. Do you have the name of the editor you are querying? If you do, then you should certainly address that person by name in the email the same as in a regular letter:

Dear Ms. Jones.

If you don't know the editor's name or you are querying a general email submission box such as querys@thewildrosepress.com then no salutation is needed. For some, the greeting, "Dear Editor" is too generic. Choose to start your query like: "After reading your submission guidelines, I would like to submit the following to your erotic romance line." Then a space or two and then the next line: "My story is about two actors caught in a timewarp on an old west stage. The two loves wind up in a series of…" You get the idea. Make your query only a few paragraphs, hit the highlights of your story the same as you would in a printed query letter.

In the final paragraph say something to the effect of, "I have included my synopsis following this query letter. I look forward to hearing from you soon." Close the note with a formal signature and your contact information, including snail mail address. I always add my phone number. The last thing you want is an editor who would like to request your story but can't find you.

The Synopsis

After your contact info, make three *** to indicate a break between the query and the synopsis. Start with the title of your book, the page or word length, and then, if appropriate, which line in the publishing house you are targeting. For example:

Roni Adams
"To Love and Lose"
55K words
Champagne Rose Line

No attachments, unless requested

One of the most important things when emailing an editor is to never, never, never attach anything unless you have been invited to do so. In this day of virus and SPAMS, editors have been instructed by their IT departments to never open attachments they aren't familiar with and to delete them without reading.

Brief Synopsis

Keep your synopsis brief. Make it appeal to the editor and generate interest. Your goal is the same as it is in a snail mail query; you want that editor to respond positively and ask for more.

Once you have that editor's email, you may be tempted to simply shoot them a note and ask them if they received your query. Editors are very busy people. They receive hundreds of emails weekly, sometimes daily. Most will send an email verifying receipt of your query and will be in touch after their review. Sending your email with the "return receipt" button turned on is generally acceptable.

When to Inquire

So you know your query was received and several weeks have passed. How long do you wait before contacting the editor and asking for a status update? The worst thing you can do is email an editor a week after you've sent your submission. Just because email is instant and quick doesn't mean the reading or reviewing of email is any faster than reading a printed letter. Give the editor time to do his/her job.

How to Inquire

So how long do you wait? The same as you would a snail mail submission. First refer to the publisher's submission guidelines. Is a timeframe stated? Some houses request no additional contact for at least six months, etc. If no details are given, use the guideline of three months. Again, be professional. Do not become a pest to this editor and be tagged as such. Your follow-up should be short and to the point. Something along the line of:

"On February 1, 2007 I emailed a submission for my story, "On Bended Knee." I am following up to see if I can provide additional information on this story. I am still very interested in your opinion of this time travel western, and I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience."

That's it. Again, give your contact info, etc. Remember, the fact email is friendly and informal doesn't mean you have that type of relationship with this editor. Even if you've met at a conference, had lunch or exchange greetings in the ladies room, do not assume they will remember you. Keep things professional, and you will begin what is hopefully a healthy business relationship on the right foot.

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Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

Bringing in the Senses By Beverly Oz

*originally published in the Greenhouse of the Wild Rose Press website

Sensory Detail: Bringing in the Senses By Beverly Oz

Ever run across the sweet, heady smell of honeysuckle while driving in the country? Can you close your eyes and visualize the vibrant reds and pinks of a sunset, or the pale greens of a newly budded tree? Can you imagine the brush of a feather against the backside of your knee? When you think about licking a freshly cut lemon and allowing its tangy juice to linger on your tongue, does your mouth water? Does the sound of honking of horns and screeching of tires make you cringe?

Can you smell it?

Can you taste it?

Can you hear it?

Can you see it?

Now think about what you've just read and how those words affected your senses? Did you smell the honeysuckle? See the reds, oranges, and greens? How about that lemon? Could you almost taste it?

Sensory Response

The human mind reacts to sensory suggestions, even suggestions taken in through written words. After a person experiences a sound, touch, taste, etc., the mere mention of the experienced sense can quickly evoke a sensory response.

For a writer, like myself, this is powerful information. Why? Because I know I can control what my readers see, smell, taste, hear, and feel simply by choosing one word over another. For example, consider the impact of changing just a few words in the following sentence.

Can you feel it?

I rubbed my hand against the furry softness of the cashmere sweater.

I rubbed my hand against the slick, almost wet, skin of the snake.

I opened the door and was nearly knocked down by the oppressive heat and humidity.

I opened the door and was nearly knocked down by the frigid north wind.

When I write, I carefully sprinkle in sensory words to achieve greater reader involvement. I want the readers to experience what my heroines and heroes experience and become immersed in my story. If I can coax the people who buy my books to completely lose themselves in my books' make- believe worlds, maybe they'll come back for more.

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Reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com/.

Researching Your Manuscript By Roni Adams

*originally published in the Greenhouse on the Wild Rose Press Website

Researching Your Manuscript By Roni Adams

From the time, the first writer put chisel to stone and began to write, writers have had to do research. Even the most imaginative of fiction writers has to do some type of research. In the pre- internet days, research was a long, tedious process. I can picture authors hunched over books at the library and studying articles about different parts of the world. I remember being awed by an article I once read from an author who had traveled to Scotland to do hands-on research. I thought that was the coolest thing. But of course only a few decades ago, how else could you completely "get" the feeling for what you are writing about.

Research on the internet

Nowadays of course, the World Wide Web takes us anywhere we want to go. You need research on Scotland, you can Google the country and find whatever you need. You can find pictures, and even small videos. No need to spend thousands of dollars to fly there.
Research with people

I've spent my fair share of time surfing the internet for research purposes, but one of my best research journeys ended not only in the information I sought but also in some lifetime friendships. I was writing a series of books set in Texas. In the second book in the series, I wanted the heroine to be caught in a storm and have to seek shelter (hey I'm a romance writer-it's cliché, but it's what we do). I live in Upstate NY. You want storms? We got snowstorms, icestorms and combinations of the two. But this book is in Texas and I knew nothing about the weather other than it's hot and dry. So I started searching the web for Texas weather information. But what I found wasn't enough. I needed a first-hand account of storms. Personal stories. The kind you only get from, well folks who live there. But I knew no one in Texas.

Then I stumbled into the RWA's site and that led me to the State of Texas. Pure luck led me to click on San Antonio Romance Authors (www.sararwa.net). I looked through their site and found a link to a woman in charge of membership. I figured I shouldn't bug the President, but the membership coordinator seemed tame enough. I sent her a note and said that I was a writer in NY who needed some first-hand Texas weather info and did she know of anyone in her chapter willing to email me some info. Her response was so warm and so sweet, that we began emailing Soon she told me that I should just become a long-distance member of SARA. I remember thinking at the time, "Why would I do that?" and "wouldn't the members think it weird to have this NY writer in their chapter?"

Friends are forever

I couldn't have been more wrong. I signed up and joined the online SARA loop. To this day I am so thankful I did. This connection has been the source not only of tremendous amounts of research, but also friendships I never would have made otherwise. Seven years later, I'm still the only NY member of the San Antonio Romance Authors, but you'd never know I don't belong.

My point in sharing this story is to tell you that research can come in many forms. It's easy to Google something and find tons of impersonal information. But the next time you need to know something, don't be afraid to reach out to another chapter in another part of the country or even overseas. You may be surprised to find you have friends out there, who are more than happy to answer your questions and ask you some of their own.

Roni is a contemporary romance author published with The Wild Rose Press. You can find information on her books and short stories by visiting her web site (http://www.roniadams.com/6.html) or check out www.thewildrosepress.com where you can find all of her titles.

Ways to Make Your Writing Stronger By Kat O’Shea

Ways to Make Your Writing Stronger By Kat O’Shea

1) Cut unnecessary words. Look for adverbs (“just,” “very,” “really,” and other words ending in “ly”) and adjectives. Use strong verbs and nouns that can stand alone. Verbs do not need to be propped up with phrases or words such as “start to,” “tried to,” “began/began to,” “beginning to,” “seemed to,” “continued to,” “needed to,” “decided to,” “could,” “would,” “did,” “must,” etc. Run a search for these and delete as many as possible.

2) Search for and eliminate intruders. These are phrases like “she saw,” “she watched,” “he remembered,” “he felt,” “he touched,” etc. Write as if you are in the character’s mind. She isn’t seeing herself seeing something. That sounds a bit confusing, but when you use those expressions, you are putting a filter between your character and the reader. Readers are not experiencing the heroine’s actions themselves, rather the author is telling/describing it for them. Any time you’re tempted to write a sense word—“he heard,” “she sensed,” “she touched”—see if you can show us what she sensed, heard, or touched. Make us feel it or hear it. Drop us in the middle of the scene as if we were looking out of the character’s eyes. It’s the difference between.
 She touched the mat of curls on his chest.
 Her fingers tangled in the mat of curls on his chest.
 She felt his muscled chest press against her back as he leaned over.
 His muscled chest pressed against her back as he leaned over.

The second ones are much more sensual and immediate. They drop us into the action. Which ones make your pulse race faster? Which ones make you feel like you’re part of the action? Can you see the difference eliminating filters/intruders makes?

3) Look for passive voice—“was” and “were” are good indicators. Replace these with active verbs to make your writing sparkle. Also look at each sentence to see who is doing the acting. Is the subject taking charge or is he/she being acted upon?
 PASSIVE: The book was read by Jane.
 ACTIVE: Jane read the book.
 PASSIVE: Those books can be found in the library.
 ACTIVE: You can find those books in the library.

4) Show rather than tell. Telling is describing, whereas showing is action that demonstrates what is going on in the character’s life. If you’re not sure what this means, here’s one example:
 Telling: Sally was angry with Brad.
 Showing: Sally glared at Brad, then turned and stomped off.

The second sentence not only lets us know that she’s angry; it shows how she expressed her anger. I’m sure you can see that the second one is much stronger and more interesting.

Change any places where you have described a character’s thoughts or deeds instead of showing her in action. See the following websites for more info:

http://allieboniface.blogspot.com/2007/04/writers-wednesday-showing-vs-telling.html http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative/showing.htm http://www.rooftopsessions.com/OpeningHook.htm

(mostly about openings, but check out her two examples of openings to see the difference between showing and telling)

5) Dialogue needs to be crisp and to the point. It must also move the story along and/or develop your characters. Eliminate the usual conversational pleasantries (hello, how are you, good-bye), filler (you know, um, you see, I guess, well), and repetitions. Concentrate on the essential information you need to convey, and make your dialogue sound better than real life. Never use dialogue to tell readers things the characters already know.

6) The main reason people read romance is to be transported to another time, place, situation. Imagining themselves in the heroine’s place, they live the story through her. In order to create that illusion, details can be extremely important. Sensory details flesh out a fully realized world. What is she smelling? Hearing? Feeling? Tasting? You don’t want to bog the story down with description, but a few well-chosen details add spice and make the setting feel real. (But do it without adding “intruders.” See # 2.)  

7) Avoid using “It was” or “There” to begin sentences; those are weak constructions. Often just cutting them takes care of the problem. Usually the rest of the sentence can stand on its own. If not, reword it.  

8) NNTT (No Need to Tell)—Many writers use body language, dialogue, or an action that shows how a character is feeling or reacting, then they follow it up with an explanation. Stick with the action, and let readers figure out how a character is feeling. If you’ve portrayed the emotion through action or dialogue, trust that your readers will understand.

9) When Lynn turned the key, the ignition clicked a few times, but the engine refused to turn over. She pounded on the steering wheel and swore, furious that her car wouldn’t start.

10) As readers, we realize she’s furious—we see her temper fit. We also know her car didn’t start, so telling us that is unnecessary.

11) Try www.autocrit.com—an online tool that checks for many of these problems.

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Kat O'Shea was an editor for The Wild Rose Press. She edited on Champagne, Climbing, and the English Tea Rose lines. This article was reprinted with her permission.

Show Don’t Tell By Linda Carroll-Bradd

On my score sheet for the first contest I ever entered, a judge wrote “interesting story but you need to show, not tell what is happening”. Have any of you read or heard those same words? Did you know exactly what they meant? Neither did I. At least, not at that time.

An easy way to determine this is to ask yourself, does my sentence describe a feeling or an impression or does it describe a physical action?

TELLING – She looked confused as she read the letter.

SHOWING – Her brow wrinkled as she read the letter.

TELLING – His face was angry.

SHOWING – His jaw clenched and his lips drew into a tight line.

TELLING – Mrs. Wilson seemed stunned upon hearing the preacher’s announcement.

SHOWING – Mrs. Wilson’s jaw dropped upon hearing the preacher’s announcement.
In other instances, we may write the action but feel the need to make the situation crystal clear by explaining.

TELLING – She crossed her arms over her chest, obviously angry over the mess on the floor. (the word ‘obviously’ brings in another character’s perception of her mood)

SHOWING – She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at the mess on the floor. (by building on the first action, you have made the emotion more concrete)

Or we distance the reader by inserting identifying words that have the character being too aware of what s/he is doing, called ‘gawking’ by some.

TELLING – Jeremy realized his finger was still on the doorbell.

SHOWING – His finger still pressed the doorbell. (deeper point of view)

TELLING – She guessed they’d both matured.

SHOWING – They’d both matured. (deeper point of view)

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Linda Carroll-Bradd is an author for the Sweetheart, Faery and Cactus Rose lines. Visit her website at http://www.lindacarroll-bradd.com/.