Punctuating dialogue

I’m consistently seeing submissions with problems in punctuating dialogue. By consistently, I mean it’s rare for me to see dialogue properly punctuated. If you think this could be you, you’re in good company. Some of these manuscripts were good enough to rate an automatic contract offer. A few punctuation problems alone will not turn me off an otherwise good story. However, proper punctuation makes an awfully good impression on a reviewing editor, so today’s post is on punctuating dialogue.

DIALOGUE TAGS Most writers know how to punctuate the basic unit of dialogue using a dialogue tag, like he said. Enclose the spoken line in double quotation marks and separate the dialogue tag from the spoken line with a comma. If the dialogue tag follows the spoken line, the comma goes inside the closing quote mark.

EXAMPLE: “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna,” she said.

If the dialogue tag comes first, the comma is right after the tag, outside the quote marks, and the final period is inside the closing quote mark.

EXAMPLE: She said, “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna.”

If the dialogue tag interrupts the spoken line, put a comma inside the first closing quote mark and after the dialogue tag.

EXAMPLE: “I’ve come,” she said, “to fix your satellite antenna.”

ACTION TAGS Using action tags instead of dialogue tags makes a richer, more active piece of writing. Action tags link more character information to the spoken line and create pictures in the reader’s mind. Action tags can precede, follow, or interrupt the spoken line, but each of these options comes with its own problems in punctuation.

Dialogue tags use words that involve making sound, like said, asked, or replied. Action tags can show almost any action, but do not involve making sounds, so, unlike dialogue tags, action tags are not connected to the spoken line with a comma. Treat the spoken line and the action tag as two separate sentences. When the action tag precedes or follows the spoken line, separate the two with a period.

EXAMPLE: She removed her hat and gazed directly into my eyes. “I’ve come to fix your satellite antenna.”

EXAMPLE: “It’s right over there on the porch roof.” I pointed toward the veranda.

When the action tag interrupts the spoken line, that’s when punctuation can get wonky. Use emdashes to show interruption. When the spoken line and the action occur simultaneously, place the emdashes around the action tag outside the quote marks. Don’t put a comma at the end of the first section of dialogue because there’s no pause in the speech.

EXAMPLE: “It’s right over there”—I pointed toward the veranda—“on the porch roof.”

If the spoken line breaks off and then the action occurs, put the emdash at the place where the speech breaks off inside the closing quote mark. Treat the action tag as a separate sentence.

EXAMPLE: “How are you gonna—” I caught sight of her truck. “Oh, you brought your own ladder.”

If the spoken line trails off or hesitates, then resumes, show this with suspension points (ellipsis). Treat the action tag as a separate sentence.

EXAMPLE: “Are you sure you’re okay…” She hoisted the ladder off the truck. “…by yourself?”

These few examples will cover most forms of dialogue. If you can get these right, your editor will be very grateful!

Eilidh MacKenzie

Editor - The Wild Rose press

English is Easy?

You Think English is Easy?

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
------
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
------
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a  recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
------
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
------
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
------
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
------
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
------
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
------
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
------
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
------
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
------
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized  dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.

We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so...

Time to shut UP.!

Oh... one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

****

Nicole D'Arienzo is the Managing Editor for Historical Division of TWRP.

Common Grammatical Errors

Common Grammatical Errors by Roseann Armstrong

When my daughter decided to take freshman Latin, I cleared my throat and smiled. Latin, huh? Not the ever-popular Spanish. Nor the romantic French. No. My daughter wanted to study the language of the ancient Romans.

Latin may be as dead as a Coliseum gladiator, but English is alive and flourishing. In fact, sometimes our mother tongue can be a bit too peppy. During the next several weeks, we’ll cover many of those trickier grammatical questions, starting with the comma splice and the lay/lie confusion.

Comma Splice

A comma splice occurs when two complete sentences (independent clauses) are joined by a comma alone. The comma’s pause is too brief to provide the strong separation needed between two independent clauses.

Incorrect: Her heel caught on the rug, she stumbled forward.

How do you fix a comma splice? You can:

1. Insert a coordinating conjunction after the comma: Her heel caught on the rug, and she stumbled forward.  2. Replace the comma with a semi-colon: Her heel caught on the rug; she stumbled forward.
3. Change one of the sentences to a dependent clause by using a subordinating conjunction (when, in this case): When her heel caught on the rug, she stumbled forward.
4. Substitute a period for the comma: Her heel caught on the rug. She stumbled forward.
Note: Some comma splices are intentional, but we’ll save that for another time.

Lay or Lie 

For many writers, the lay/lie choice is a real dilemma. And it’s no wonder. Lay is the present tense of one verb, and the past tense of the other (lie). Here are a few tips that may help you the next time you’re confronted with the lay/lie decision.

If your heroine is putting or setting something down, use lay or one of its forms (lay, laid, laid, laying).

Remember: Lay is a transitive verb. The action of a transitive verb is transferred to the direct object. In other words, lay requires a direct object to express a complete thought.

For example:

She laid a manuscript on the editor’s desk.

The transitive verb laid (past tense of lay) tells us what the subject (she) did to the object (manuscript). Hint: You can find the direct object by asking what or whom after the verb. She laid what? She laid manuscript.
Lie, on the other hand, is an intransitive verb. The action of an intransitive verb isn’t being transferred to something or someone. In other words, the intransitive verb never takes a direct object. The sentence is complete without one.

For example:

The dog lay on the grass.

The intransitive verb lay is the past tense of the verb lie (lie, lay, lain, lying), meaning to rest or recline. Dog is the subject, and nothing receives the action of the verb. By the way, the on the grass is an adverbial modifier telling where (but not whom or what) the dog lay.

I lie under a tree on summer days. Again, the action of the verb ends with lie. (I can’t lie what or whom.) Under a tree and on summer days are modifiers telling where and when.

Finally, don’t confuse either of the verbs above with the second lie, also an intransitive verb. Against the advice of her attorney, she lied on the witness stand. Here, lied is the past tense of lie (lie, lied, lied, lying), meaning to make an untrue statement.

Challenge Yourself  

Answers will appear in the next installment.

1. Yesterday she (lay, laid) in bed all day.
2. He likes to (lay, lie) in the hammock.
3. Before they arrived, she had (lain, laid) the dishes on the table.
4. “(Lie, lay) down,” she said to the toddler.
5. You can (lay, lie) the hamburgers on the grill.

****
Roseann Armstrong is the Senior Editor for the Champagne Rose line.